This is the FCB Podcast Network. A braas Masoda day that we won't was bathe and then we won't to say, oh we got it? Does? No one can dig that? Owen yo do'day? This don't be okay? Abras Masoda day that we won't to bathe, then we won't to say oh we got it? Does? No one can dig that? Owen d bay, this don't be okay. Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of Just Listen to Yourself with Kira Davis. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and I hope y'all had great holidays this season. I it was a little rough for me and my family. This is our first holiday without my niece Tiffany. She passed away last January at the age of thirty two due to lupus, and she He's behind an eight year old son, and so we naturally are all mourning. But that's sort of the point of Christmas, isn't it. Not the morning part, but the idea that God has sent us himself not to at the moment wave a magic wand and take away all our hurt and our pain and our struggles as human beings in this mortal life, but to say I'm walking with you. I'm from the heavens, but I'm going to come out of this pure holy peace and walk with you in your strife and your grief and your mourning. And that really is the Christmas message. So in that respect, and I know I've said it on the show before, but I believe that grieving is the act that brings you closest to God because it is the thing that reminds you most about why He had to come. So for that, we were grateful and thankful and joyful and celebratory, and even in the midst of morning, we had many moments of joy and levity and happiness to be together. And so I'm grateful for that. And I hope that even if you yourself are experiencing some tragedy or some really sad things this holiday season, I hope that you can at least find some comfort in that the way that we have. Well, all right, today's a listener response. I thought this would be a great time end of the year. Having done it for a while, let's break down some responses from you all. I definitely had a mixed bag because we had a couple of pretty controversial episodes since my last listener response, but I just I got so many. I'm going to try to get as many in as I can. Well, let's get started right away. Oh well, before we get started, I want to remind you please subscribe to this podcast if you haven't already, hit that like button, give us a rating on iTunes if you would five stars, please drop a note that's helpful, and then don't forget to subscribe to my other podcast, A Very Merry podcast with Amelia Hamilton, where we go through Christmas time movies, Hallmark movies, all that kind of stuff. It's so much fun and, as always go by my book drawing lines, why conservatives must begin to battle fiercely in the arena of ideas. All right, how's keeping done? Let's start with an email from Melinda. Melinda says, I've been mulling your episode on women and Men around in my head and have a few thoughts. First off, I think that a lot of what you have brought forward in this episode is truly wisdom from years of growing into womanhood. I believe that my twenty year old self would have thought that what you have to say is ridiculous because I have believed the lie that I needed to be independent and not need a man. Oh and I'm sorry I should have said this before I started the email, but this is obviously in response to my episode on toxic women Toxic womanhood. Okay. Continuing on, she says, the thirty five year old wife and mother of three now sees that sees how much I was missing out on what God had created me to be for so many years. It's so sad to think of how many women that will get to the end of their lives shocked that their career did not fully fulfill them, and now they wish for more, but it's too late. I believe many men will also feel this as well, but for different reasons. Regarding your claim that a man won't do what a woman does, this has been proven to me time and time again in all my relationships with men, not just boyfriends and husbands, of fathers, coworkers, and more. A man will not step up when he is not required to, but a man will step up and do an amazing job when it is required. He will also feel for film and having done so. Women hold much more power than we realize in a relationship, if only we use it wisely to build up our men into the man that can become. My only criticism would be that we definitely don't want to put blame entirely on women, because ultimately men can and should choose to be different. I totally agree with Linda. Thank you for pointing that out, and I may not have said that enough in the episode, so I'm glad you pointed it out. Absolutely, we don't want to place all the blame on women, and I'm going to do sort of a toxic man version of that podcast too. There's plenty of blame to go around. Girl, You're absolutely right. She goes on to say, I do understand that women are making it much more difficult for men to be who they are made to be, but each is also accountable for themselves. So then she asked me three questions, Why are we as women settling for so much less than we could have? That's a whole other podcast, but I would say, just as a cursory answer, rather shallow answer, why are women settling? I think the pool of eligible men has shrunk. I think that is definitely definitely part of it. And again, we could do a whole podcast on why it has shrunk. Perhaps part of the reason has shrunk is because we are settling. But I think there's definitely more to it. As you pointed out earlier on in your email, you're saying we're not going to place the blame all on one party. I think a lot of women we're missing dads. It all to me, it goes down to this, always we're missing dads. In society at large, fatherhood has become it's not a priority anymore in Western slash American society. And as a woman, the way your father treats you is a number one indicator for the type of partner you're going to choose. It's really the same for men too. Men to often choose women that have reminiscent qualities of their mother. Not to be oedipal about it, but that's just natural. We are attracted to what we know, what we know as loves. So women who have absentee fathers, or weak fathers, or fathers who just weren't very good, they're going into dating life hobbled. So why are a lot of women settling? A lot of women don't know they're settling. They haven't had a good example, I think, And there's like eighty more parts to that answer. But to start. I'll start there, all right, Part two. Question two, what do we tell women who are in relationships and even marriages with men who are lazy and not provide leadership as they should? Ooh, this is a great question, Melinda. When I was a young wife, I remember having a specific issue with my husband and he was acting irresponsibly and I was so upset, and we would argue about it, and I'd yell about it and I'd scream and cry and threaten. Everybody wouldn't change it. And my mother in law said to me one time I was counseling with her, and she said, she said, you can't tolerate this. You're tolerating this behavior. You can't tolerate it. At the time, I didn't understand what she meant because I was a stay at home mother, completely financially independent, excuse me, financially dependent on my husband, and my job revolved around our family. So I was thinking, what's my leverage here. I can't walk out the door. I have nowhere to go and nothing to go with. But now that I'm a little older, I think I understand what she meant because leaving is an option, but that is a nuclear option, and you should not pull that trigger unless you are absolutely sure that you'd be better off alone than in the relationship. But I do think there are ways that women, particularly in marriages, where you don't necessarily have the option of walking out the door. I think there are ways that women can hold men accountable in your relationships, and it's going to look different for each relationship. But not tolerating a certain behavior means not doing the work for your partner. I think a lot of women do that, and that's what leads to men who are not providing the leadership. They're being weak. Whatever it is you need from your husband, if you need them to step up to organize Bible studies for your family, or date nights, or you need them to step up emotionally, whatever it is, most likely in some way you're doing that work for him, consciously or subconsciously. So I would say stop, just stop doing it, and that will take discipline because you're going to want to do it and you're gonna feel bad for not doing it. But I think the way to at least nudge men to step up is to stop doing their work for them. Whatever that looks like. Does that make sense? All right, let's move on to question number three. Melinda says, I have three boys and want to raise them to be strong, godly men who do provide and lead their families. What is your advice for accomplishing this? What do we tell our boys when women act towards them in a way that is counterproductive to them being this type of man? I wish I had some kind of gold star to give out, Melinda, this is a great email, These are great questions. Here's my verbal gold star for you. Well, of course, my answer is going to be, when you're raising godly men and women, you need God, you need the Bible, you need a community. Okay, so you should be a faith community. You should be in church. Your kids are going to need other people that they can depend on to guide them and confide in as well. And you want those people to share your values the people they are confining in, right like you don't you know? We have this whole thing now where all our teachers, our public schools teachers are telling our kids you can confide in us, you can tell us things you can't tell your parents. That that's creepy. We have these teachers. We don't know what their deal is, but I guess The idea is, if you're in a church community, you at least have the cursory comfort, that surface comfort, anyway of knowing that the people your kids are confiding in share your faith and share your values. So definitely lean on God. I know one thing that has been difficult for me in letting my son go off to college is that I'm no longer with him every day, having conversations with him every day, and God only knows the amount of tryal that's getting deposited into his head at college in Chicago, Illinois. And as a parent, yeah, of course I feel angsty. And I look back on my years of raising him, and all I can think about is all the things I didn't do right, you know, all of the gaps that I left. But that's where God comes in. God. I pray that God fills in those gaps for me, And I pray for my kids all the time. I pray for them every day, and my prayer is that God would turn their hearts towards Him because then everything else will line up. They will make better decisions about romantic partners and about career choices and about values and all of those things. So I think ultimately the simplest answer is pray for your children and pray their hearts will turn towards God. And as far as finding romantic partners or being interested in people who don't treat them well or who give them bad vibes, tell them that even though their heart might be pulling towards that person, you don't want a person who's gonna treat you like that. Anyway, You'll know when the person is right for you because it'll make your life easier, not harder. Melinda closes, She says, I love every episode you do as it always makes me think and it is enjoyable to listen to. Well, thank you, Melinda, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year to you, and great great questions. God bless you. Just keep on doing your thing with the kids. There's no parenting handbook, but we have the Bible and it's very helpful. All right, Let's move on hot topics, the news of the day, in depth interviews, and a whole lot more. It's The Outlaws Radio Show. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, iHeart, or wherever you get your podcasts today. That's out Laws The Outlaws Radio Show, n FCB podcast. I have an email here, from Jacob. He sent a couple emails, but this one in particular, I really enjoyed and appreciate it. He says, some time ago you talked about Governor DeSantis's decision to send fifty illegal immigrants to Martha's vineyard. You ask for different perspectives on this. I tend to think we need to separate out two things. One did this stunt expose hypocrisy on the part of a lot of rich progressives? And two did this stunt show adequate respect to the illegal immigrants in question? I agree that it exposed hypocrisy. At the same time, these immigrants were being forcibly brought forcibly across the country without even knowing why they were being moved there. It became a media event. I'm not sure this is morally acceptable. I understand that we sometimes need to move immigrants around if we're going to enforce our immigration laws, but that should be for pursuing the purpose of securing the border, not for political stunts. Granted, a lot of people on the left were pretending to be outraged about this when they were really just angry they were caught in their hypocrisy. Still, I wish that more conservatives had reprimanded the governor for his actions. The ends do not justify the means. Thank you for that perspective, Jacob. I'm so glad that you shared it because that is a perspective of many people, including many conservatives. I feel like this was just it's spiteful, right, It's spiteful, and that can never be right. And I appreciate that you that you divided this spot into two parts. Did this stunt exposed hypocrisy? Because we both agree absolutely it did. I think if I'm recalling the and I think I'm always just saying that Martha's vineyard one, but if I'm recalling what I said, that was one of the things that tickled me the most was that it was just really exposing this hypocrisy. Did the stunt show adequate respect to illegal immigrants in question? I'm not sure that the people that we're talking about have necessarily earned the respect, and that sounds harsh to say that out loud, So let me explain before you judge me on that. Certainly people, everybody deserves dignity and respect as human beings. But what does respect look like if we're allowing you to stay in the country that's pretty respectful for someone who's already started off by breaking our laws, and we're saying that we didn't get to choose you being here, so you don't get to choose where you land here. I think that's fair. I think that's more than fair considering all of the benefits. I also think it's fair to consider who we're talking about, because I believe that there's idea, this idea, and Jacob, I get this sense from you and your email. You have this big heart, You're compassionate because you have this idea that all of these people are just innocent families walking across the border looking for a better life. But ninety percent of these people are single men of working age. There's something wrong with that. And the children that we are see coming across are coming across oftentimes with these singlemen, which speaks a lot about human trafficking and all the issues with that. So I do also think we need to understand that we might not be talking about a population of people that need respect. There's a lot of nasty people that are mixed in with just people looking for a better life. So how do we separate those people out? I don't know. I don't know that it's the job of border patrol to do that, or any government to do that. So I guess all of that to explain why I say, I'm not sure that respect means just letting anybody do anything. You also make a really great point about enforcing our immigration laws. Read this. You say, I understand sometimes you need to move immigrants around if we're going to enforce our immigration laws, but that should be for pursuing the purpose of securing the border, not for political stunts. Well, I think you and I disagree about what DeSantis did. I would say that is about securing the border, not a political stunt. And in fact, that's exactly what they're doing in Arizona and Texas because they're having issues with their borders, and the border is so porous. Because our overlords in Washington, d c. And behind there, they're in their governor's mansions, behind their their gated they're big gates. They don't have to see the direct impact that unfettered illegal immigration at our border is having. And it's not just about oh, we have a lot of people coming over. There's massive amounts of crime, drugs, human trafficking. If you watch Bill Illusions reports from the border live. It's it's absolutely horrifying, and having a therrist border encourages crime, fentanyl, human trafficking, rape, all of the horrible things we're seeing happen to children. Having a poorest border right encourages all of that and of course creates a national security issue. So if our government overlords, our government betters, or our representatives for whichever term you prefer to use, if they don't have to see the problems that this unfettered illegal immigration is causing, they don't have to address it. And if they don't address it, then the border is unsecure, which it is right now. And so what I see DeSantis and Abbott and others doing is I do see it as a move to protect the border. Hey, we need help. Look look what fifth just fifty people did to you and Martha's vineyard. Now imagine a small town in Florida, except we don't have the resources. We don't we're not wealthy poor where a lot of these people are on welfare already. We don't have the resources to help these people. I do see it as an issue of national security. You have to make it uncomfortable for everyone so that everyone understands the importance of protecting the border, not just where you live, but at the border of our nation. So Jacob, thank you for this email and your other one. I read the whole thing as well. I'm very thoughtful and gave me something to think about. So bless you for that, and Merry Christmas. Here's a quick one from Diana. She heard me filling in for Dan Bongino back before Thanksgiving, and she says, I'm listening to you on Dan's show today. You're awesome. Love your energy and spirit. Keep the faith. We need more people like you to tell the clear truth as you are doing. We need adults back before our kids and country are lost forever. Well, thank you, Diana. I'll be hosting Dan's show again on January second, so tune in for that. I always love filling in for Dan, and I'd say this all the time. I have met many, many people in the conservative infotainment business, if you will, in this industry of people you watch on TV, listen to on the radio, watch on YouTube, and most of them are people and I mean this sincerely, and maybe even I'm including myself. Most of them are people you wouldn't really enjoy hanging out with in real life. It's one thing to be on a camera, but it's quite another thing in person. A lot of these people are entertainers, and entertainers are often introverts. They turn it on for the crowd, but often they need to recharge. And so I'm just saying that, say you wouldn't enjoy most of these people. Of all of the people that I have met in all of my years in this business, one of the most sincere is Dampongino, and I mean that with my full heart. Truly, that guy is what you see is what you get. Now. I know he's not perfect, you know, I don't. I don't, and I don't know anything about him. I just know he's a human being. I'm very leery of making anyone into a big, sort of cultish personality, so I don't want to do that with Dan. But he truly is a genuine person and I always enjoy filling in for him, and I considered it a great honor to care for his audience while he's out. So I will be there with you on January second as well. Thanks Diana for tuning in. I hope I get to hear from you again. Bob also heard me on Bongino and says I heard you on Dan Bongino. You're a natural speaker. Couldn't agree with you more. Hope you get your own show one day. God bless you all right, Bob, thank you from your lips to God's ears. I would love my own radio. So I love radio. I love doing radio. Here's one from Brian. Brian listened to my episode on Candace. He says, I'm Candas Owens. That is, he says, Hi, Cara, I've just listen to your podcast about Candice Owens, and I know who she is and had listened to some things she used to say, not much over the last year or two because she's behind a paywall. A's a daily wire that I don't subscribe to. So I was interested to hear. After ten minutes, nothing about what Owen said. You said, nothing about what Owen said that you disagreed with. Thirty minutes. Still not one specific thing Owen said that you disagreed with forty minutes, fifty minutes the entire podcast. Not one specific thing that Owen specifically said that you disagreed with, not one. That is crazy. You spend an hour and couldn't come up with at least one specific thing, and then you wonder why people think it is strictly based on jealousy. Brian, Okay, Brian, fair enough. I do think that she's wrong about Israel. I think I did say that. But Candice talks, so talks a lot, and so do I. So I didn't necessarily have a list. I suppose I could have gone down a list, but it's not the fact I don't. It's not that we disagree. That is my problem with her. I hoped that I had explained that in the podcast. My problem with her is that I don't think she's actually a conservative. I think she's an opportunist, and as of a result, there is no compassion or forward thinking. But I don't have any problems with Candice personally, not that you said that, although you did say I was jealous. So but I appreciate your I appreciate you reaching out and taking the time, and I appreciate you listening. Brian. Happening year and Merry Christmas to you. Hot topics, the news of the day, in depth interviews, and a whole lot more. It's The Outlaws Radio Show. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, iHeart, or wherever you get your podcast today. That's out Laws, the Outlaws Radio show, an FCB podcast. Here's another response to the Candace episode. This is from another listener named Brian. As far as I can tell, they are two different Brians. This Brian says, thank you for your podcasts. I think you and Candace really are on the same page. You have more life experience and knowledge than she does. She says it was Kanye that gave her the break in social media. It was You're absolutely right. We wouldn't know who Candace was unless Kanye. He tweeted about her and then she blew up a lot of people remember that. Let's see, she had two podcasts on the Warren, Gaza, and Israel, plus some comments. In previous podcasts. She was upset that a church was bombed in Goza, which killed a child of someone she knew. She engaged with the pro Israel guest mentioned that she had felt tension between Arabs and Jews in Jerusalem and she was there for the opening of the embassy in Jerusalem. She was told that tensions would have been higher. Then the second guy talked about Jewish supremacy. He seemed to be in law Lawland at the end. If there were not Israel supremacists, there would be Hama's supremacists in charge, and everyone would be worse off. It was a guest, not Candace that was talking about that. Candas is doing her best to learn and find the truth. She makes mistakes at times, and she is trying to be open to new information. I also think it is unfair to have a go at her when she is so close to having the baby. Oh, I didn't even know she was pregnant. Your last podcast could have been made by any of her critics from the left. I don't think you are jealous, but I don't think you've listened to enough of what she says. I don't think such attacks do anything good. I doubt that Candace would try to get fired to get out of her contract. Thanks again for your podcast, Brian. All right, thank you Brian for that email. I didn't know she was pregnant. That being said, I'll leave your comments to stand. I think you've made your argument quite well. I don't necessarily have a response to your very succinct opinions. The only thing I will say is this is a pet peeve of mine. When people say, oh, leave this person alone or don't you have better things to do or or there are other things to talk about than this, or Hey, this person's a kid, or this person's young, or this person's pregnant or a mom. This is what Kendas does. This is her job, right, she puts herself out there, she says this stuff. The whole point of our job as commentators is to elicit responses. So I don't think the fact that she's pregnant means or I shouldn't have a quote a go at her, And I wasn't having a go at her. My job is to express my opinion on political issues, and Candace is a political figure. So that's all both of us are doing, really, which is why I go to great pains all the time to say I have no personal issues with Candace. I don't even know her. But I don't think it's fair to say, oh, those attacks don't do any good or it's not an attack, it's a response. I don't attack people. I don't do that. And Candice also, I believe, even though I don't know her personally, I know our business and we're in the same business, and I believe she would say the same thing that I'm saying now. Which is this is this is what we do. We put ourselves out there. If you put yourself out there, you should expect a response. I've heard Candace say that herself many times when she's gotten crap for going after say kids like Greta Thunberg, who's not a kid anymore, but stuff like that. So yeah, I think it's fine to I think it's totally fair to give her a response to her comments pregnant or not? All right, moving on, This one's from Leah. Leah says, I really enjoyed your discussion with Darvo about miss Owens. I remember the red in the Red and Black days. I used to do a show called Red and Black on YouTube. How y'all dubbed her cousin Candy was chrisy I was called her cousin Kanty. You made a lot of sense. I remember how Dave Reuben had her on with Blair White. She bulldozed her way through the meeting. Dave completely lost control, Blair couldn't get a word in edgewise, so I was leary of her. Then I'd see advertising for her daily wire show interviewing prostitutes by and by the time she got to Andrew Tate. I was completely over her clickbait when Yea when Yee made his anti Semitic comments. Turns out she and her husband were trying to get him to buy parlor from them, So now she was simply another anti Semite. There are too many instances to count. I was pleased from Front Page called her out. I was very happy to see some moral backbone. I said that Ben should debate her, not fire her, but he is smarter than me and only wasted a few tweets on her. I know what you mean about a monolithic conservative party. None of us want that, not really. Well, us little people don't stick to your principles. You are always a breath of fresh air. Also, these days, it means so much to have you loudly support Israel. Well, thank you you, my friend. And yeah, I don't. I just don't think Candice is genuine in any kind of real support for Israel. I just I think if you I understand, I don't want to debate this Israel thing, but I do want to let people who disagree with me on this note that I understand where you're coming from. I understand I have friends who think we should not be involved Americans should not be involved. We should not be getting involved in any kind of war. It's none of our business. And yes, I feel sad when anybody dies, regardless of what side of the fence they're on. And I totally get that. I completely understand that. I just don't think that this is a both side situation. One side was attacked and is and is consistently attacked, and the other side as the goal of wiping Israel off the map. So I think, as an American and a Christian, yes, unequivocal support for Israel is required here. It's my belief. But I do understand where you're coming from when you say, hey, this isn't about being anti Semitic, and I think, yes, you can hold the position that Palestinians are simply trying to throw off the chains of some kind of oppression and not be anti Semitic. I think you can, all right. Moving on, this one's from Victoria. She commented on the Women Are the Problem with Men episode. Hi, Kira, I first heard you when you filled in as a guest house on Dan Bongino's show. I enjoyed you so much that I found your podcast. I recently listened to the subject podcasts the problem with men. Women are the problem with men, and agree one hundred percent with everything you said, except when you said you did not want to know about your son's sex life. Now that he's in college, girlfriend, you have to keep checking in with him. He needs her help now more than ever. That's my humble opinion. No, he has a dad that Victoria. I don't want to be having these conversations with him. That's my husband's job, and my husband does check in with him. So I do appreciate your concern, but don't worry. We do have it covered. I just don't want to be in the conversation, okay. Continuing on, I especially was challenged with the fact that if we as women do certain tasks, the men in our life won't step up and do them. I have put this into practice with my older son. I've started to take the oh, don't bother him, it's easier to do it myself. But no, he needs to step up. And I tell you what, Like you said, he's doing it happily with no pushback. Thank you for the reminder, and then she also says, your podcast reminded me of this short story when Queen's ride by and I want to share it with you, sincerely, Victoria. I didn't read the story yet, Victoria, but I have it safe, so I'm going to read it. But maybe other readers might want to when Queen's ride by. Good for you, Victoria. It is hard. I mean, has a mom same thing as a mom of a son. And you hear I talk a good game, but yeah, I feel the same way. I have to really resist doing things for my son, letting him step up. And as we often find, when we raise the bar and we ask our children to reach for it, oftentimes they do. We're lowering the bar too often. Recently, when he came home for Christmas. You'll get a kick out of this, Victoria. He said, he's twenty one. He's gonna be twenty two in April. And he came home and he said, oh, well, i'm here. Can I want to open a savings account? He has like some investments accounts, but he wants just a savings account. I think he's going to start saving for a car. He said, can we go to the bank together and open a saving open a savings account? And I said, oh, of course. Then let's make time to do that while you're home and then later on the day, I thought, I don't have to go open a savings account with him. He's a grown man. All he needs is his own idea and some money to depose it. He doesn't need me for that anymore, or he's not a minor. And so I had to tell him, yeah, you don't need me, and then he was realized, Yeah, I guess I don't. But it's just those little things. Whereas there would have been a time where I might have been tempted to say, yeah, I'll go with you just to help walk you through the process. Now, sometimes we got to throw our kids into days, and yeah, it's difficult, but I too really consider that a lot. I've been married twenty five years now, and even now at this point, I am I find myself at a point where I'm thinking to myself, Yeah, what am I doing in my marriage that is making it easier for my husband to sit back? And he's not a bad person. He is not a terrible person. He's a good person. Everyone who's met him will tell you that. And even he can have the tendency to pull back if I step up too far. So as I always say, the relationship between men and women is a dance, and you got to know your steps. Kelly from Tennessee Rights. I found your pieces on Red State several years ago, and I've been a reader listener ever since. I just want to say thank you for all the work you're doing. I find your perspective refreshing and I trust you do. I disagree with you on occasion, sure, but I know you aren't coming to your audience with a hidden agenda. For that, I thank you. I love that, Kelly. I'm going to stop right there. Okay, I get this a lot. The question I get I've even done a show on it. How do I find unbiased news and commentary? My answer always is you can't no such thing. But what you can find is commentary and news that you enjoy. And as long as you understand it's bias, you're already five steps ahead of the game. So Kelly is saying, I know where you're coming from. I know you're bias, and I know I'm going to disagree with you sometimes, but I trust you. So what she says, she trusts me, and she trusts herself to know. Okay, this information and opinion that Kia is giving me, I don't agree with it. Doesn't sit right with me, and it's not ringing true for what I know and believe. And she's able to process that and still take what is what does ring true with her and does resonate with her, and even the things she disagrees with, the fact that she's disagreeing with it, she's thinking about it right. It's helping to clarify in her mind exactly why she disagrees, and it helps her to feel more confident in her own opinion. So, I mean, it's one of my favorite things to hear Kelly. When people say, yeah, I disagree with you, but I still love your podcast. I love that she goes on to say, I feel like you are someone like a chat with at the kitchen table. That might sound corny, but it's true and it matters. For years. My dad was a person I talked about politics, religion, and life. We lost him in twenty twenty. But listening to you is like having one of the conversations. Again. That's very nice, Kelly. You and I come from different backgrounds and have different life experiences, but it shows the unifying power of faith in God and common ideals. Keep talking. We're listening. Thank you, Kelly. It's very touching. What an honor to be placed in even close to the same esteem as your father. And I'm very sorry for your loss. For me, that person is my father in law, and certainly as we get older, we know that loss is always around the corner. But we appreciate the times we had and I'm glad and that's what I always feel like this. I hope this show is for people I do. I hope it feels like having a conversation with a friend. And it's always a joke. People always say, how do I don't know how you talk for hours on end to nobody. You just talk all by yourself. Darvio says it all the time. I could never do what you do. I gotta have other people to balance conversation off of. But my response always is, I do feel like I'm having a conversation, and maybe that makes me a little bit crazy. I'm hearing voices and responses. I do feel like I'm having a conversation always with you all, and that's what makes this podcast work. Thank you so much, Kelly. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. And if we ever get the chance to sit around the kitchen table and talk, I would love to hot topics, the news of the day, in depth interviews, and a whole lot more. It's The Outlaws Radio Show. Subscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify, iHeart, or wherever you get your podcasts today. That's out Laws, The Outlaws Radio Show an FCB podcasts. I want to read this one. I'm going to close out with this one from my friend Deborah because she's a regular listener to the show, and she writes them faithfully almost after every podcast, and I just love hearing from her. It feels like hearing from a friend. Deborah says, I'm so glad you put out a new podcast this week. She's talking about the last one that I put out, because I have been so loosey goosey. I was thinking about you quite a bit and thought you might be going through some things. I was planning to send you a note just to let you know you're in my prayers when I saw the podcast come up in my feet. I've only just begune listening, but I had to pause to write this note. First of all, thank you Deborah for thinking of me and for praying for me, and for knowing, yes, I am going through stuff right now. I am thank you, She says, congratulations one hundred days. So I told you all, I'm one hundred day sober. Now it's a bit past that and now feeling good. Sobriety was a decision I made for my own personal health. I'm not an alcoholic, but I was becoming a problem drinker. But you can go back and listen to my explanation on that. So, she says, I know what an accomplishment that is, having watched family and friends get sober and sadly at times, relapse. Knowing what I do about getting sober, I will caution you that saying you won't drink for a year might become an overwhelming feeling that could work against you. The people I know in the program that would be aa I imagine usually say it's one day at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time. I will keep you in my prayers as you work through the stressors in your life. I also understand about settling a parent's estate and trying to settle my dad's estate. My siblings and I went through the same thing this past year after my father passed away, and as part of the fallout, we've fallen into two camps and it wasn't pretty. I am so sorry, Deborah. Oh it's just devastating. It's so sad and unnecessary. And the thing I've learned is that I really want to do my best to make sure my children have every tool available to hold it together after we are gone, because it's not just about money, right, It's about memories and unresolved feelings and gosh, I'm so sorry. Thank you for your prayers. I will say this also, I thank you for that advice. Had I told people my original plan was to be sober for a month, then I extended at the three, but after three months I had this real, huge mental breakthrough and decided I would extend that for at least a year. And Deborah saying, hey, don't put that time limit on it, because that might bring you stress. I appreciate that concern. I will say this, Deborah. I think your concern would be I would be more apt to take this advice were I an alcoholic, but I'm not. And I don't say that out of denial. I say that out of respect for people who are, because I don't want to compare myself to people who really are struggling and in recovery. Although part of me becoming sober was to find some clarity on whether or not I was an alcoholic. Now that I've had some time, I realized, no, I'm not so. The other thing is that's not happening for me is I'm not sitting around struggling. I don't have a physical dependence. I'm not wishing for a drink every day. I can be around people drinking and I'm not wishing I had it on occasion, you know, if someone's celebrating, like over Christmas. Yeah, that was a bit of a challenge. I actually had to make conscious choices during some moments. No I'm not going to have a drink. But otherwise I find the year to be actually helpful. The idea of this something to reach towards, you know, a reevaluation point. What I find daunting is the idea forever. Actually, I find that challenging. So to have a year to be able to say, okay, no in a year. At a year, I'm going to stop and reevaluate. Perhaps I will want to celebrate or have a casual relationship with alcohol, but maybe at a year my brain will have completely changed and it just won't be an issue at all. I don't know. I'm open to seeing what happens. But I take your advice seriously, and you're concerns seriously, and thank you so much for your prayers. And then she goes on to say that she's got a children's book that's out and I didn't realize it because I have not been going through my emails properly, but she's offered to send me a copy. So, Deborah, I did respond to your email with an address to send a copy too. But for those of you listeners out there who are just curious, I'm sure Debora wouldn't mind me sharing this. The name of the book is The Tiger in Ethan's Room, so I'm looking forward to reading it. It's The Tiger in Ethan's Room. Go look that up and buy it. Support one of our listeners and our friends. Deborah. You know I love you, girl. Thank you for always reaching out. You are the best, and thank you for your prayers. Please continue to keep me in your prayers. I really appreciate it. Well, that's the perfect note to end on as we close out twenty twenty three, I'm just gonna let everybody know that for me, twenty twenty three has been an absolute crap show. It's been a terrible year. I have been heartbroken. I have been depressed, not the whole year, but not constantly, but off and on. I have experienced loss. I'm going through some kind of crazy midlife crisis that is taking way too much of my mental energy. But I have also been the recipient of so much grace and so much love. Much of it has come from you, all the listening audience, my team here at FCB Network, Darvo, Amelia, my friends and family. As I look back on this year, one of the things I think about is how I went from being in this state of not sure how lovable I am. And this might sound a little shocking to some people. I'm not sure how much I've talked about my own personal feelings about myself, but I may do that more in the future. But I went from a state of being not sure of how lovable I am to having my eyes opened about just how many people are around me who do love me and care for me and want good for me. And I'm grateful for that. And I don't think I would have seen that if I had not been forced to go through some deep issues and tragedy and loss, and it's made things more clear in a way. So I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for this show and the outlet it's provided me, and for all of you out there. Thank you for giving me a place to get work through my thoughts. Thank you for challenging me. Thank you for your emails that say, hey, I don't agree with you. I love those emails. Thank you for your emails let's say I'm praying for you. I love those even more. And thank you for the opportunity to just be a part of the conversation. So as we move into twenty twenty four, please go with this thought. You have been created for such a time as this, in such a place as this. You are no accident, and neither are your circumstances. Will twenty twenty four be the best year for you? Will it be a new year, new you? Will you become everything you hoped you would be? Will you have all of the things you hoped you would have? I don't know, but I dare say it doesn't matter, because in twenty twenty four you'll be here, and because of that, you are blessed and highly favored. So go with God and make the most of this upcoming year. I know I intend to merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and God bless you all our brains, all that we won't to pay, then we won't to say, oh we gotta, does no one get take that? Oh in ya gonna be okay? Our prayers, all that we won't with pay, then we won't to say, oh we gotta does no longer take that? O? And this has been a presentation of the FCB podcast network, where real Talk lives. Visit us online at fcbpodcasts dot com.
