This is the FCB Podcast Network. This is pillow Talk with Ally Michelle on the FCB Podcast Network. Welcome back to an episode of pillow Talk with Ellie Michelle. I am your host, Allie Michelle. Sorry that I have been m i A. There's just been a lot going on at the homestead. I will spare you the details, but this topic, it hits home. I've gone through it. I've been going through it for the last twelve years. We are going to talk about single motherhood and what it means to have a man step in place of the baby dad and child's father, whatever term you want to use. I think this will resonate with a lot of people, men and women. So let's roll into it now. Like most you know, we go through custody battles to figure out our needs for our child and for ourselves and sometimes selfishly, the other parent or party wants more power than the other and it's just not right. So quick backstory. I have been taken to court twice for custody. We have fifty fifty. We've always had fifty fifty. I never thought it shouldn't be fifty fifty brings me back, brings me to current day. I don't receive child support because it's fifty fifty whatever. You want to pay your part, fine, don't want your money anyway. However, when a emergent, when an emergency situation pops up, it is up to both the parents to step up. And sometimes it doesn't work like that. What I mean is, you know, I reach out or somebody reaches out, and the other parent just freaks out about it because there was a lumps of money that needed to be paid in half for an emergency situation. Now that just stirred the whole thing. Now me, me, I hate confrontation. Will I engage in apps a freaking lutely, But do I thrive on confrontation? No, it ruins my day whatever, and I need like twelve cups of coffee. So when you are a single mama and you are dating a man, and this man is everything you ever dreamed of. He supports you financially, mentally, physically, everything. He is the perfect person or woman, and you have to be that parent with somebody else. I give so much credit to the other party that you know does not have the chill child or you know, but is in role of them and they deserve so much credit. I have a stepfather who stepped in place. He took the role of being my dad. Is he my dad? No? But he is my dad, do you know what I'm saying? So when a when you have a bitter baby mama or baby dad, it makes everything ten times worse threatening. The court system is not okay. I hope everybody realizes that. I do believe in the court system to a point. But yeah, So the point being is confrontation. So when you start pushing the buttons, obviously people are going to push back. So what do men not like? They don't like competing with other men period, or they or they do compete, but it's to establish who's alpha. So me being me, I said the truth. You know my partner, he pays for what my child needs. And I threw that back into the face because the other party is not there. The point being is you as a parent. It is is your duty and obligation to be there for your child, period, doesn't matter when, where, how or why. You have to be there as a parent. Your life is over as a single person. You have that other little child depending on you. Like so many stories, I hear a woman moves on the baby dad isn't okay and takes her to court or vice versa, or some baby moms are real bitter and keeps her child away. I have never been that one. I don't like it. I frown upon it. I mean, obviously, if the other person is a pos then yes, obviously protect your child at all costs, but don't don't threaten the other parent. Like we as a society have become so prone and so marinated in the fact that we can do it by ourselves. I mean, sure you could, but to but to educate our children into thinking you don't need no man or you don't need no woman, that is totally false. To rely and have that other person that you can go to and confine and have a family with is the greatest gift. So when it doesn't work out with somebody else and you finally find somebody that everything works and everything is blended and it just it runs so peacefully. That's an amazing thing. And a lot of women are so scarred from past relationships because the guy was beating her or cheated on her or everything, and under the moon same with a man. Now, I posted a video of the reality of having fifty fifty You know, moms. We do suffer, We do have heartbreaks when we have to give up our time because the reality of it, like when you have fifty fifty, you only have your child for half of their life, and then they're eighteen and then they move out in most cases, and then they're doing their own life. So that's a hard pillow to swallow. And a lot of men got angry and said, you should count your blessings or you try being a man that only gets one or two days. I'm not saying we have a perfect system, but to work together as a unit for the sake of your child is the most important job that you will ever do. You can be a CEO of a company, but to raise a child to be a thriving and successful citizen in person is the most important job you will ever have. We have a lot of women that degrade women that want to have children. We have a lot of women that degrade women who want who are pro life. Which if you're pro women, you should be pro life, because that's a that's a future woman. In my in my thoughts, in my opinion, we are stripping our youth from the from the from the reality that being a mother is the best gift. And I'm not even talking in a religious point, but to just know that that little human is yours, and it's and she or he is there and just if they know nothing but love, and you're gonna strip that from them, You're gonna strip life from them. That's disgusting. And a man who is not in favor of having a child when you know you guys, you guys had intercourse, it resulted into a pregnancy, and he encourages you to not have this baby. That's a cop out. It's not empowering you, it's not making you this badass woman. This is literally somebody who wants to get rid of responsibility. And you should run, run, run, run, and never turn back. Now, when you decide to have a child, abortion is out of the question. You take on that responsibility for life. It's not It doesn't stop at eighteen. Reasoning a child does not stop at eighteen. They may move out on their own and do their own thing. But having a child and being a parent is a lifelong commitment, and it is the best lifelong commitment. You buy a house, you have a thirty year mortgage. After thirty year mortgage, you have your house. Why is that any different from a child, I know, a child in a house or not the same. But if you're willing to make that commitment and that's a house, that's an inanimate object, just think about it and then you okay, So you turn around, you have you have a child. In my case, I was seventeen, had a baby. He's been he's my baby. Father and I separated when my son was three months old. Best decision ever, abusive, all of that mentally and physically, and then moved on the next relationship wasn't the best, but it is what it is. But point being is that father is in my life whether I like it or not. Now me, I try to work with the relationship. I try to bring up my child knowing that you do need your dad and you do need your mom. They need their parents. If you know, a successful child leads a father in their life, especially a son. Now brings me to the court system. We get better, we get angry, We act on emotions, but to put your child in the middle of a courtroom into belittle the other parent is never okay. But it does not mean you should not have that baby in fear of that and fear of oh I won't be able to give them a great life. Life in itself is great. Throw everything else if your thoughts away, life itself is great. I'm looking at a picture of my son and I'm getting really emotional. It's just, you know, how could you want to strip another parent from their life. I'm not saying every case is perfect, and I'm saying and I'm not saying that every parent should be involved in their life, because there are some people that really shouldn't be a parent, but they chose life and for that I'm grateful. But to threaten a parent with the court system along with a child is abuse. It's narcissistic, it's abusive, and it's never okay if you're going to take to court, take to court and handle it as adults. They're so today's society is a bunch of cry babies that run to run to abuse, run to narcissistic behavior, run to abusive behavior, because that's all they've known. We need to start changing how we are presenting our selves in society. We need to start changing how we are as parents. We need to be the voice of our child. If the other parent is not doing something that's healthy, it's up to the other parent to never a let your child think otherwise. Both parents, in the child's eyes should be angels, because bitter baby moms are out here throwing around, dragging around men's names, their dads, their baby dad's names, and they might be the most best dad there is, but he didn't want to be with the woman anymore, so she takes him to court, strips him of his rights, pays child support for eighteen years. Baby dads mom moves on. She's with a new guy. He's bitter, he's angry that she's found this man who's who's in place of him, and he's not okay, So he takes her to court. The court can go either way in Ohio with a man. In my case, it was fifty fifty. I never even fought it. I believe fifty fifty is fair, despite my feelings as a mother, despite myself, I could not be selfish in that moment. And that is the hardest pill you have to swallow, is having to share that time with your little baby that you carried for nine months. So I'm just saying we need to focus on being better citizens, better parents. Stop listening to the media, step listening to these bougie rappers. These bougie hip hop artists that are or even the pop the bougiest is pop artists. You know, they are the most outspoken about not raising children. I'm so glad that their parents chose life because now they're living this successful life. Most most artists you hear come from nothing, come from poverty, and now they're making billions. And while screaming at you don't have kids, leave a woman's body alone. But there is a body in that body, no matter if you're going to go through lifelong corp battles, if they have health issues, if you're not wealthy, life matters. Children matter. Raising a child to be the most innocent person matters. And with that, I'm gonna let you guys ponder on that. I'm getting too deep and I will see you guys on the next one. Don't forget to follow me though on TikTok at Allie Underscore Michelle twelve is that twelve Oh, I can't remember my handle at Allie Underscore on Michelle two eyes on Instagram at Allie Underscore twelve two Eyes my Facebook Allie Michelle, and obviously, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast, share it with your friend's, share it with your baby, dad's share it with your baby. Better baby, mamas, and I will see you guys on the next one. This has been a presentation of the FCB podcast Network, where real talk lifts. Visit us online at FCB podcasts dot com.
