Now. This is the FCB Podcast Network. This is the Jeff Glory and Nick Show. Welcome to The Jeff, Laurie and Nick Show. And we are an exciting, informative talk show that's focused on finding solutions to the problems of the day. Today. We're happy to have with this co hosting pastor John T. Coates. How are you? John? I am absolutely wonderful on today, especially I'm not as beautiful as Laurie, but I'm working. I'm working on it, okay. Also, Laurie and Nick are not with us today, and we have a special guest from the Cayahoga County Adams Board, none other than mister Bill Hebble. Bill Hebbel is a client's rights officer and out to you during this time of the year, it's the holidays season and Christmases upon us and other holidays and out to you. A lot of folks are experiencing difficult times. It's because of depression and all other issues life's issues, and a lot of folks are just going through it. And I tell you I've seen a lot of folks just going through grief right now, dealing with funerals and a loss of loved ones. Bill is with the Adams Board and uh, Bill, you just we're happy to have you here today. Tell us a little bit about what you do and go ahead. It's all yours. Fantastic. Thank you so much, reverend, and thank you for so much for having me with you here this morning. You know, as the reverend said, my name is Bill Hebble. I am one of the client rights officers here with the Alcohol, Drug, Addiction and Mental Health Services Board of Cuyahoga County. What I do specifically, there's really two major parts to my job. The one that I do most frequently and the what I really get to do from day to day is really talk and connect with people in the community. If you know someone or if you yourself, if you have a family member, a loved one, a friend, an acquaintance, somebody at your church, somebody at your you know, your workplace that you know is maybe struggling, needs a little bit of help, you know needs some guidance, you know maybe could benefit from talking with somebody or as in need of some kind of treatment. You can call me directly and we can help you with that. We can let you know where to receive services, what we have available. So all you have to do is call the Adams Board and ask for bill and we will make sure that you get the services that you need. The other part of my job and the one that's really exciting and where I really get a chance to help people is as a client rights officer. I have the privilege of being able to make sure that everyone services in Caiahoga County receive the best quality service possible. So if there is a concern, if there is an issue, I get a chance to investigate that, work with the individual and the agency to resolve that on behalf of the client. So everything I do every day is working directly with people and that's why I love my job. Oh thank you for all that you do. And I'll tell you we thank you for anyone that's gonna help our audience and folks and just people in our communities become much better. Coping with the Holidays is a book that your organization has put out, and I know that Pastor Coach wanted to ask a couple of questions about that. Well, you know, the holidays season, as mentioned, is a lot going on some people are you know that deal with depression and as it relates to their economic demands, that they feel that are pressed upon them as far as the holidays are concerned, buying your children's your children gifts, feeding the families. But more happens than that, and with the holiday comes a lot of first a lot of first Thanksgivings and Christmases without a spouse, without a mother or a father, a child may have passed away, and people are dealing with They go into deep depression because of this first that is coming along. What are some of the things that your agency recommends how people can deal with the pressures and the impact of these first holidays without their loved ones. Thank you so much, Pastor. I mean, you know, absolutely so true. And you know these are things that we focus on the publication that we put out through the Adams Board. We do this every year. Every year we revamp it, we take a look how we can make it better, so you know, we make sure that we have tips and strategies that are available for people. One of the biggest things that we always recommend, you know, when it comes to celebrating the holidays, and you know, we all celebrate different we all have, you know, expectations about how we want our celebrations to look. Making sure that our celebration, and our expectations are reasonable, you know, making sure that we have you know, things in place for a reasonable expectation, you know, specifically, I know, you know, we watch a lot of these holiday films and movies and things like that. My holiday never looks like that the way they in the films, and you know, things like that. So you know, it's just you know, having that reasonable expectation. But you know, when it comes to loss and you know, things like that, you know, these are you know, and can make the holidays particularly challenging, and things that are you know, really make it very difficult to enjoy celebrating. So I think it's really important to recommend, you know, love does not end with loss. You know, love does not end with death. You know, we may not physically have that person with us anymore, but we want to make sure that we're you know, when we're celebrating, we're still recognizing that loved one. You know. In my family, you know, I lost my brother several years ago. So we have a place, you know, you know, for him, at the table that that place stays vacant, and you know, it's a setting there, so and you know, we celebrate him. You know, we still miss having him, you know, at our family gatherings, but you know, having that space for you know, making sure that we're remembering them. And then it's important to talk about your grief. You know. We never want to bottle everything up and keep everything internalized because you know that, unfortunately we don't have anybody to help us kind of process those feelings, process, you know, those emotions. There's nothing wrong with saying, hey, I'm really struggling this time of year. I'm struggling with missing this person. You know, I'm struggling with doing this by myself. It's important, you know, really to talk about them, and then of course talking about the person that has passed, sharing those fond memories, you know, sharing those memories of things that have happened and you know in previous celebrations or you know, some of our favorite memories with them. You know, these things are really important to do so that that loved one continues to stay with us even though they're no longer with us physically. And then you know, do what's right for you during the holidays. Just because we receive an invitation doesn't mean we have to accept it. You know, if it's something that's maybe outside of our comfort zone. We don't know, you know, maybe this isn't going to be good for me this year. There's nothing wrong with politely saying I'm sorry, I'm unable to make it, you know. You know, holidays are for celebrating everyone else, but it's for us to celebrate too, So you know, we should have every opportunity to feel good in our celebration and you know, to do what makes us feel good. And then of course planning ahead, you know, kind of understanding you know what our triggers might be. You know, what are situations that we know may make us feel uncomfortable. You know, what are situations that may you know, listit some feelings of sadness or grief, and then we can kind of mentally prepare for those so when we're in those circumstances, we're prepared to kind of respond and you know, know how we can best approach that situation. Bill, what are some things that you can tell us to help us help others that are grieving during the holidays. So as far as helping others, I mean, one of the biggest things, you know, a lot of times that we can do is just simply being present, you know, being around that person, offering that supportive ear, that supportive shoulder, I know, particularly when it comes to loss. A lot of things that you know, we're always fearful of saying the wrong thing, you know, We're always fearful of maybe saying something that's you know, may come across as insensitive or you know, triggering to that person. Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing, you know. Sometimes the best thing to do is just simply be there, extend a hand, extend a hug, you know, just simply being there for that person, you know, and allowing them to express that, you know, allowing them to express their feelings and being there to support them. I think that's the number one thing that we can do well. Bill. Can you talk about people will gather with families and with friends during the holiday seasons and and some in celebration, some in in co miseration. How does alcohol and play into the holidays and and what are some ways we can avoid some of the dangers in association with with holidays and alcohol. Very very good question. For whatever reason, uh, in our culture, Uh, it seems that with celebration, uh come libations and you know all that that that comes with that. I myself, I'm in a I'm a person in recovery, so I know, you know, in certain situations, if I'm you know, invited to an event or a gathering where I know there's gonna be a lot of liquid celebrating, that may be an event that I choose to miss. You know, I may say thank you for the invitation. Unfortunately I will not be able to make it this year. But many people and you know, enjoy imvibing and you know, are are able to do so. You know, of course, the biggest key to that is moderation, you know, making sure that we're monitoring our intake, you know, making sure that we're you know, careful of how much you know, we're taking in at a time. Of course, you know, if there are occasions in which we're partaking, you know, making sure that we're not driving, uh, that we do have a designated driver or you know, we have you know, access to an uber or you know, some kind of other transportation source to get us to and from our celebration. You know, for those that are not in recovery, there's certainly nothing wrong you know with enjoying a cocktail or a livation. You know, with our with our celebration. Uh. The key to that is, however, is moderation, you know, making sure that we're we're careful for those that are in recovery. You know, Really it comes down to knowing our limitations, you know, knowing the circumstances in which we're going to be comfortable and knowing those which may potentially jeopardize us in our recovery journey. So if we get to an event or a place where there may be a lot of you know, libations and you know, celebrating and we're starting to feel uncomfortable, there's nothing wrong with excusing ourselves from that situation and you know, celebrating in a different way. Well, Puff the Magic Dragon may show up at many holiday parties, quite possibly for the first time this year. Are any special preparations or advice that you have for people that are dealing with marijuana in the new holiday environment? Absolutely, as particularly this year, You're absolutely right Pastor it's something that could you know, certainly be a challenge, you know, as we're celebrating. Again, it comes to knowing our limitations. You know, it's particularly mindful to know, you know, your particular time tolerance. If that's something that you're comfortable with. If that's something you know, you know, maybe look at our employment situations. Is that something that's even permissible you know at this point, So you know, making sure that we're being mindful of our surroundings, that we're being careful, and there's never a single thing wrong with saying no. There's never anything wrong. If it's offered or if it's present, doesn't mean that we have to partake. You know, we can simply say no, thank you. And again, if we're ever in a circumstance while we're celebrating and something makes us feel uncomfortable, you know, it's the greatest sign of strength to recognize our limitations and say, you know, this is you know, something that I'm going to have to pass on for now. That's absolutely a sign of strength, nothing to be ashamed of, and it's something that we that we should embrace to know those limitations. Bill, that's a good point. And there was a time when Folks was had a slogan going around that was just three words, just say no. And I think that that's very self empowering. And also that is I think that we need to remember that we do have to strengthen the power within ourselves to just say no. And sometimes it's a good thing. I've noticed. I've been in environments. I've walked into different environments where it just wasn't the right atmosphere and climate to be in, and I just simply excuse myself. And it's nothing wrong with doing that, especially when it comes to your own health and sanity and your own piece. So thank you again, Bill. We're going to have to take a quick break and we're going to ask our audience just to stay with us. Will be right back. These days, it seems like everybody's talking, but no one is actually listening to the things they're saying. Critical thinking isn't dead, but it's definitely low on oxygen. Join me Kira Davis on Just Listen to Yourself every week as we reason through issues big and small, critique our own ideas, and learn to draw our talking points all the way out to their logical conclusions. Subscribe to Just Listen to Yourself with Kira Davis and FCB Radio podcast on Apple, on Spotify, iHeart, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our audience for staying with us, and we have again, mister Bill Heble, who is the the client's rights officer at the Adams Board. And I'll say we're having a great discussion on coping with the holidays. Pastor coach you had, you're gonna take us with another question. Yes, Bill, this has been some wonderful information you have provided thus far. But what are some some self care tips that we can use as individuals or recommend to to family members and friends of how to get through this holiday season? Yeah? Absolutely, And there's so many different kinds of things, you know, that we can do. We've kind of already talked about it a little bit this but remembering that the holidays are for us too, you know, I know we spend a lot of time thinking of others and you know, making sure everyone else gets a chance to enjoy the holiday season, but making sure we're taking that time for ourselves, you know, for that enjoyment is really possible. So that's taking time for that self care, you know, making sure we're spending times enjoying activities that we appreciate, you know, doing things that are bringing us some happiness. Another, you know, a big one is like tuning into the emotions that we're experiencing. Can a lot of times be really helpful. You know, I know a lot of times we sometimes like to bottle our emotions or you know, we're fearful of experiencing a certain emotion or sharing it, you know, publicly, But you know, sometimes just tuning in, you know, I'm feeling this way right now, and it's okay to feel that way, you know, kind of help me navigate through how I'm feeling and then how I can best If it's a negative emotion, kind of overcome and move past that, or if it's a positive emotion, kind of embracing that, and you know, making sure that that's exuding around the people that I'm celebrating with. Managing stress is a big one. Making sure we're not taking on too much, making sure that the things that we are taking on, you know, we kind of have a good you know, structure and pattern, you know, for how we're taking on whether we're you know, we're the ones doing the cooking or you don't want me cooking. Believe me, nobody would leave very healthy if you had me preparing food. But you know, we're responsible for the decorating or the cooking or hosting or you know, any of the other things that come with celebration, you know, celebrations, you know, making sure we're kind of managing those stressful activities and then not forgetting to be present, you know, both for ourselves and for the loved ones and the other people that were around being there for them and kind of opening ourselves up to you know, all of the joy that does come with the holiday season. Also, what are some of the meaningful could you give us some of the meaningful or inexpensive ways to celebrate the holidays? Absolutely one of my favorites and one you know that you know, our family does every year is to you know, take a tour around town and look at all the holiday lights displays. You know, that's free, you know, you don't have to pay anything, you know, to go around and look at all the light celebrations. I know downtown Cleveland, you know, for anybody that's here in Cleveland, they always do you know, a huge celebration right there on Public Square. Certainly you can go through and look at all the lights. I'm sure those of you you know down in Columbus or you know, wherever else you know our listeners may be, you know, your cities have something similar or simply driving or walking through your own neighborhood. Yeah, that's that's good, Bill. A lot of folks just say, I simply don't have the money to celebrate the holiday. And then a lot of people really get up tight because they look at their wallets and they look at all the advertising. They say, they just don't have the money. So, yeah, what are some other ways? Yeah? Absolutely? My favorite one is the commercial they show every year with the Lexus with the big red bow on top. Yeah. I don't know who's doing that for the holidays, but that's certainly never I've never received Alexis or had been in a position to gift Alexis to I don't know. Did you ever get an Alexis for Christmas? No, No, it wasn't. It wasn't full size of the teeny weeny little little little toy automobile. But no, that's that's my you know, And don't forget the girl on the hood, that's right, that's right either, Yeah, Bill, But I like that idea of the lights. I mean, that's what Christmas is all about, you know, brightness and cheerfulness, and you can go experience that for free. Just drive around, go out take a walk with someone, right, Absolutely, absolutely, and that's you know, our our media. You know, we put so much you know, we have to spend all this money for that for the holidays to be enjoyed, you know, enjoyed. And you know, nobody is happy unless you know all this money is being spent that you know, that that takes away, in my opinion, from the meaning of the holidays, because there's soopings that we can do that that don't cost anything. You know. Another favorite tradition in my family is to read stories together. You know, there's so many different you know, holiday tales and you know, however we choose to celebrate the holidays, every single form of celebration has a story associated with it, you know, getting together with family and loved ones, and you know, telling that story particularly and joyful for some of the maybe the younger members you know of our family, you know, for those of us that may have younger members, you know, doing a sing along. You know, they can do that with the neighbors in the community, they can do that for some maybe some of our older adult relatives, they can do it for you know, really any relative. You know, again, these are things you know that that don't cost anything. That's a good point. I like that because Christmas, a lot of us say Christmas is for kids, and of course the you know, and there there are some adults that would argue that because they're looking for the big the big gifts and so forth. But Christmas is really for about making kids happ and the little presence that we all grew up with around the Christmas tree, most of us. But then, what about those folks that are not that are kind of celebrating alone during the holidays. What should we do? How do we get them to get involved? I like that idea about just maybe asking them to, hey, just go look at some lights and things like that, and maybe have some kids go along. But what else, Bill, What do we do for them? Well? Absolutely, and I think it's it's so important, you know, for those of us that are that are fortunate, you know that we have, you know, others that we can celebrate with, to be mindful of those in our communities, to be mindful maybe those in our own families that we know are celebrating alone, you know, taking some folks out there, let's go visit. You know. I know my church, you know we we have you know, homebound members. You know that aren't able to come to the celebrations. They live alone for whatever reason, you know, they're not able to exit their home. You know, our church, we'll take groups of people out, We'll send care packages, we'll send you know, baskets for those people. Maybe for those that may not you know, have that available to them. You know, sometimes it's as simple as you know, again looking at those holiday lights, displays, you know, going out into the neighborhood, just kind of walking around and you know, seeing what's available. You know, if that's a possibility for us. You know, a lot of the programs that they show on television, you know, are you know, are free or not things that we have to pay for. We can watch some of those holiday films, you know, some of our you know, you know television shows. I know, those kind of always put me in the spirit, you know, watching some of those. We don't even have to leave our home to do that. I've noticed too. Oh sorry, Bill, you just triggered something in my mind. I noticed too that there's there are a lot of churches that are having holiday concerts and so forth, and they want people to come in and uh participate in the chair. John, can you speak to that pastor coach. Yeah. Absolutely. And one thing that I've always said about the African American church tradition is that always accused us of not celebrating Christmas because we sell we are a lot of our focus during this time of year has been on New Years. And one of the things that we've tried to do in my ministry and within in my city is to encourage churches to celebrate Christmas and to celebrate the holiday season. You know, in the Christmas tradition, there's over two billion people that recognize the season of advt that's that for those four Sundays leading up to Christmas Day, And we're encouraging churches, even if that's not a part of your religious tradition, to consider doing something like that, with having a theme for each Sunday, for each week, for people to meditate on and to share their own experiences as we lead into Christmas Day and beyond and beyond. So it's important that we create new traditions, new tradition, whatever those traditions are, for our for our families. For my family, for instance, we're doing a sing along this year, and and we and we realize everyone may not know the songs that we're going to sing so the words, the words are printed, and then after the sing along or as a part of the sing along, we're gonna do karaoke as well, so that everybody can kind of participate. It'll be fun for the children as they sing up on the housetop, and it will be fun for that those of us that are fifty and older as we imitate the tim days tation singing silent night. Oh coach, that's very powerful. I tell you that ought to add to the mental health, the positive mental health of a lot of folks. And I'll tell you adults are, like you said, fifty and over, a lot of adults are asked to participate in these services. So that's wonderful. Bill, it's back in your hands. Continue to tell us about these inexpensive and meaningful ways to celebrate. Yeah, absolutely, thank you so much. And I you know, Pastor, I love that so much. I've never felt I mean, and no matter where I've you know, chosen to attend, anytime I've walked, you know, into into a church, nothing but welcoming. I mean, So I really hope people you know understand, you know, even if it's not your denomination, if you know you've never been before, you can still go and participate in their celebration, you know. You know, things like like cookie decorating is always a big one. You know, you can even go to you know, to the grocery store relatively inexpensive, buy the pre made cookies and decorate them yourself. You know, there's really they have all the accouterments and things like that. Those are relatively inexpensive. Making those holiday sweaters, those those are my favorite. The best ones I've ever seen are the homemade ones where they have all the tinsel and the bells and everything else like that on the on them. Those are definitely things that you can do. Making you know, some of our favorite recipes. You know, sometimes that's you know, can you know, really help us, you know, reminisce you know, things that we enjoyed, you know, during holiday celebrations that you know we've celebrated with before. We can prepare some of those favorite recipes. And along the lines we were talking about with with you know, with the pastor about music, creating our own like playlist of our favorite holiday songs that we could listen to, you know, keep on a loop in our home, you know, with that we could we can listen to, you know, while we're decorating or while we're just you know, milling about the house. And then my my personal favorite, you know this is this is the best one. In my opinion, the most meaningful gifts that I have ever received are the ones that are handmade, you know, that somebody took the time to create, you know, by themselves, with their own two hands, you know, whatever that may be. I still have them displayed in my home. Those are the most meaningful things. So you know, we don't have to spend all this money to be able to give a gift to someone. We can you know, hand make a gift and I guarantee it will be more treasured and people will feel, you know, more positively about it than any store bought item. Thank you, Bill Man. We're almost out of time. I'll tell you we're gonna have to have you back because I know the holidays continue on for weeks, and I think we need to just get this information out shared with folks. And I think that, man, you've triggered some things in my mind of ways that I can definitely help somebody cope with the holiday season. And there's so many folks that want to withdraw and keep the themselves and fall into a depression and so forth. But Pastor Coats shared some things today, and I'll tell you that ought to encourage a lot of us to just get off of our butts and get some things going to help some other people. And that's what ministry is all about. And that's what the Atoms Board is all about. And tell us a little bit about the Atoms Board. What does it mean? The name? Just quickly absolutely the Alcohol, Drug, Addiction and Mental Health Services Board of Cuyahoga County. We provide all type of services focused on substance use disorder and mental health recovery services. How do we reach out if we need help? If we know of someone that needs help, no matter if you know of someone, if you and yourself, call the Adams Board directly two one six two four one three four zero zero and ask for Bill. I am here through the holidays. I am here to support you know, any member of our community, no matter what your need may be. If I don't have the answer for you, I will get the answer for you. Thank you so much. Pastor Coat's final words that we're we're just about out of time. But I want to hear from Pastor Coats. He's going to take about sixty seconds and then Bill, we're going to come back to you and that'll be it. Well, thank you, Jeff. I want to thank Bill for everything that he does, the work that you do on the front line in our community, and just remind everyone that as you get with your family and your friends during this season, remember to minimize conflict and maximize cooperation with one another. Take this season as a time to be kind, open up a door for someone. Make sure when you pass in front of someone, say excuse me, please and thank you like they used to teach us to do, and it will make a more pleasant environment for us all. Bill, please and thank you. I love it. Thank you all so much for having me on with you this morning. Again, Please know my name is Bill. I'm with the Adams Board. Call us directly. We have every resource available to help our community. Thank you to our audience for being with us and staying with us. Thank you, Bill Helbl, Thank you Pastor John T. Coats, And to our producer Darvyomorrow, the best producer in the world out here, He's awesome and let's all remember that we can all do better. And keep doing your best to make our communities, our cities are stayed in our nation a better place. God bless you all. This has been a presentation of the FCB podcast Network, where real Talk lives. Visitors online at fcbpodcasts dot com.
